I’m Linda and this is my crazy adventure. I’m going to run a 5K race in each of the 50 United States before I turn 60. That means I have until September of 2026 to get it done. Oh boy, I hadn’t actually done the math on that until now. F#@k!
I blame my friend, Kim Yaroch, for this. I would be perfectly happy right now sitting on my ass, drinking wine, and eating bowls of pasta if she hadn’t opened her mouth.
Seriously, Kim is my true inspiration to do all of these runs. She came to me a couple of years before I started 50 Before 60 and said, “I heard you run. Let’s do a race together”
I didn’t hesitate to reply, “What? Are you f#@king nuts.”
I used to run, yes, but that was years ago. I was too old to start running again. At least that’s what I tried to tell Kim but she wasn’t having it. She suggested that we do the Turkey Trot in Detroit because it’s a laid-back, fun run. I agreed but only if we dressed up, which we did and had a great time.
So then Kim convinced me to do another race. And another. And another. It wasn’t fair because all of the races had a booze theme and she knew I couldn’t say no to that.
By the start of 2018, I was in love with running again but I needed a goal to work towards. I decided that I would run a 5K each month and use the participant shirts to make a quilt. Cute, right? Well, not to brag or anything (but this is my journey and my blog so I will), by June I figured out that it was too easy. I needed more of a challenge.
Now, I have a process that I go through when I need to make big life decisions. I sit in my kitchen, drink some wine, and talk it out with myself. I realize that I must look like a wino having a nervous breakdown but it works. So, that’s what I did. It went something like this:
Runner Linda
Ok, what can I do that is just crazy?
Chardonnay Linda
(drinks wine)
Drink a bottle of chardonnay from every vineyard in the world.
Runner Linda
That’s ridiculous. Do you have any idea how many vineyards there are in the world?
Chardonnay Linda
(pours more wine, takes a drink)
Alright. Drink a bottle of chardonnay from every vineyard in America.
Runner Linda
No! It has to be running related.
Chardonnay Linda
(gulps down wine, pours another glass)
Run to every vin– vinega– wine farm in America and —
Runner Linda
Enough with the wine farms — damn it! Vineyards!
Chardonnay Linda
(drains glass)
Well pardon f#@king me for sussgesting great fffffriggin ideas.
(reaches for wine bottle, passes out)
Runner Linda
Wait a minute. That’s just crazy enough to work.
Chardonnay Linda
(wakes up momentarily)
I know, right? Let’ssss go. I’ll grab the corckhh ssscrew.
(passes out again)
Runner Linda
Not that! I’m going to run a 5K in every state before I’m 60 years old!
Chardonnay Linda
(wakes up)
And wear fun outfitsss themed for each race with too-toos and shirsss that say funny things on them.
(hiccups, burps)
Runner Linda
Yes! That’s actually a good idea.
Chardonnay Linda
I know, bitcchh!
Runner Linda
And I’ll keep a journal of the races, then write a book about it.
Chardonnay Linda
Whatever, nerd!
Runner Linda
This is going to be awesome!
Chardonnay Linda
F#@khh yeah it is!
(They drink a toast and finish the bottle)
So, that’s how this thing started. I want to thank all my family and friends who encourage and support me as I go along. You all give the boost I need to run those miles and drink that wine
Of course, a special thank you to Kim Yaroch for getting me off my ass and running with me. You’re my inspiration, guurrrl!